Grief on Father's Day: When the Day Feels Complicated

Grief & Loss

24 Aug

Reviewed by Sally Tanner, MA Counselling, ACA Level 2 Registered Counsellor. Last reviewed: August 2026.

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Father's Day can bring up grief for many reasons: the death of a father, a strained or estranged relationship, infertility or pregnancy loss, or missing a child who has died. These feelings are a normal response to what the day represents, not a sign you're handling it wrong, and there are ways to get through the day that feel manageable to you.

Why Can Father's Day Trigger Grief?

Anniversaries and calendar dates have a way of bringing grief back to the surface, even when it has felt more settled recently. healthdirect notes that birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can trigger intense feelings of grief, and that marking the occasion in a way that feels right to you, rather than avoiding it altogether, can help.

Father's Day is a particularly public version of this. Retail promotions, social media and family gatherings all centre the relationships the day celebrates, which can make an already difficult day feel unavoidable.

It's Not Only About Losing a Father ‍

Grief on Father's Day doesn't only belong to people whose father has died. It can also surface for people who:

had a difficult, distant or unsafe relationship with their father
are estranged from their father, or he from them
are grieving a father figure who wasn't a biological parent
are fathers grieving a child they've lost
are experiencing infertility, pregnancy loss or an unplanned childless life and find days built around parenthood painful
have a father living with advanced illness or dementia, and are grieving who he used to be

Each of these is a legitimate form of grief, even when it doesn't fit the picture the day is built around.

Why "Complicated" Grief Doesn't Mean Something Is Wrong With You

When a relationship with a father was difficult, unresolved or unsafe, grief can feel tangled up with other emotions such as anger, guilt or relief. This doesn't mean you're grieving incorrectly. It reflects the complexity of the relationship itself. As the Naum Centre's Understanding Grief & Loss guide explains, there is no single right way to grieve, and grief can include conflicting emotions existing side by side.

Ways to Get Through the Day

There's no requirement to either fully participate in or completely avoid Father's Day.

Some people find it helps to plan the day deliberately rather than letting it arrive unstructured, whether that means spending it with supportive people, marking it with a small private ritual, or keeping the day low-key.

Grief Australia offers a dedicated resource on navigating Father's Day, and healthdirect suggests a simple gesture, such as lighting a candle or playing meaningful music, can give a difficult day some shape.

When Should Someone Seek Support?

If grief on Father's Day, or in the lead-up to it, feels overwhelming, is affecting your sleep or daily functioning, or is bringing up difficult feelings you'd like support to work through, this can be a sign it's worth talking to someone.

If you'd like to understand what working with a counsellor for grief actually looks like, our Grief & Loss Counselling service explains The Naum Centre's approach.

Need Immediate Support?

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, or there is an immediate risk of harm, call Triple Zero (000) immediately.

If you're experiencing emotional distress and would like to speak with someone now, confidential support is available:

Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14 (24 hours)
Griefline - 1300 845 745 (9am-8pm AEST/AEDT, 7 days)
Beyond Blue Support Service - 1300 22 4636
Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467

If your concerns are not urgent but you'd like professional support, speaking with your GP or another qualified healthcare professional can be a helpful first step.

Key Takeaways

Grief on Father's Day is common and can stem from many different experiences, not only the death of a father.
A difficult or estranged relationship can make grief feel tangled with other emotions like anger or guilt, and that's a normal part of complicated grief.
Planning the day deliberately, rather than letting it arrive unstructured, can make it feel more manageable.
There is no single "right" way to get through Father's Day, and your approach can change from year to year.
Support is available if the day, or the lead-up to it, feels like more than you can carry alone.

If these experiences sound familiar and you're ready to talk to someone, you can book a free 15-minute consultation with our team to see if counselling may be a good fit for you.