Understanding Grief & Loss

Reviewed by Sally Tanner, MA Counselling, ACA Level 2 Registered Counsellor
Last reviewed: July 2026

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes

Grief & Loss at a Glance

Grief is a natural response to loss. Although it is most commonly associated with the death of someone important, grief can also follow many other life experiences, including the end of a relationship, losing a job, changes to health, infertility, or the loss of a cherished pet.

Everyone experiences grief differently. Some people feel overwhelming sadness, while others experience anger, numbness, guilt, relief, anxiety, or a mixture of emotions that change over time. There is no "right" way to grieve and no set timeline for healing.

While grief can feel deeply painful, it is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a reflection of the importance of what has been lost. Understanding grief can help you make sense of your experience, find compassionate ways to care for yourself, and recognise when additional support may be helpful.

Key Takeaways

Grief is a response to loss, not a sign of weakness.
People can experience grief in many different ways - there is no single right way to grieve.
Grief affects the mind, body, behaviour and relationships, not just emotions.
Healing is often not linear and looks different for everyone.
Support is available if grief is affecting your daily life.

What Is Grief?

Grief is the emotional, psychological, physical and social response to losing someone or something that mattered to you.
Loss changes our lives. It may change our routines, relationships, sense of identity, future plans, or the way we understand the world. Grief is the process of adapting to those changes.

Although grief is often painful, it is also a normal part of being human. The depth of grief does not necessarily reflect the type of loss, but rather the meaning that loss held for the individual.
Some people cry frequently, while others feel emotionally numb. Some want to talk about their loss, while others prefer quiet reflection. All of these experiences can be part of a healthy grieving process.

What Types of Loss Can Cause Grief?

Many experiences can trigger grief, including:

The death of a family member, partner, friend or colleague
Miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility
Separation, divorce or relationship breakdown
Estrangement from family members
Losing a beloved pet
Losing a job, career or financial security
Major illness or disability
Changes in independence or physical ability
Retirement
Moving away from home or community
Losing an important life role, identity or future you expected

Some losses are widely recognised and supported by others, while others may be less visible. Regardless of the type of loss, your grief is valid if something meaningful has changed or ended.

Types of Grief

Grief researchers and clinicians typically group grief into a few broad categories, though most people's experiences overlap more than one:

Acute grief is the intense, immediate response that follows a loss, often involving strong waves of emotion.
Anticipatory grief can begin before a loss occurs, such as during a loved one's terminal illness, and can involve many of the same emotions as grief after a death.
Disenfranchised grief occurs when a loss is not openly acknowledged or socially supported, such as the death of an ex-partner, a pregnancy loss, or the death of a pet.
Complicated or prolonged grief refers to grief that remains intensely disruptive well beyond what would typically be expected, continuing to significantly affect daily functioning many months or years after a loss. This is now recognised as Prolonged Grief Disorder in clinical diagnostic manuals, though most people who grieve do not develop this condition.
Collective grief describes shared grief experienced by a community or society, such as after a disaster, pandemic or significant public loss.

Common Experiences of Grief

Grief affects far more than emotions. It can influence your thoughts, body, behaviour and relationships.

Emotional experiences
You might experience sadness, anger, guilt, relief, loneliness, anxiety, numbness, confusion, irritability, or moments of happiness alongside grief.
Many people are surprised that conflicting emotions can exist at the same time. Feeling relief after a difficult illness, for example, does not mean you loved someone any less.

Physical experiences
Grief may also affect your body. Common physical symptoms include fatigue, changes in sleep, changes in appetite, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, tearfulness, headaches and digestive discomfort.
These reactions are often part of the body's response to significant emotional stress.

Changes in thinking
People who are grieving may notice forgetfulness, difficulty making decisions, trouble concentrating, replaying memories, feeling preoccupied with the loss, or questioning beliefs or priorities.
These experiences often improve gradually as people adapt to their new circumstances.

Social changes
Some people seek more connection during grief, while others withdraw.
You may find it difficult to attend social events, return messages, or participate in activities that once felt enjoyable. Relationships may also change as different people respond to your grief in different ways.

Why Everyone Grieves Differently

There is no single grief journey.
How someone experiences grief is influenced by many factors, including their relationship with what was lost, previous life experiences, personality and coping style, cultural and spiritual beliefs, available support, other stressors happening at the same time, and whether the loss was expected or sudden.
Some days may feel manageable, while others can feel unexpectedly difficult. Many people notice grief comes in waves rather than following a predictable pattern.
Healing does not necessarily mean grieving less every day. Instead, it often means gradually learning how to carry the loss while continuing to engage with life.

Loss of Self or Loss of Role

Sometimes grief is not only about losing another person.
Major life changes can alter how we see ourselves. Illness, disability, infertility, retirement, becoming a carer, or losing an important role can leave people grieving the person they expected to be or the future they imagined.

This experience is sometimes described as a loss of self or loss of role.
It can involve grieving your previous independence, physical abilities, career or professional identity, parenthood you hoped for, or life plans that have changed unexpectedly.
Acknowledging these losses can be an important step in adapting to significant life changes.

Common Myths About Grief

"Everyone goes through five stages." - Many people have heard of the five stages of grief. Research since has shown that grief is rarely experienced in a fixed sequence. People often move between different emotions over time, and everyone's experience is unique.
"You should be over it by now." - There is no universal timeline for grief. Healing looks different for everyone and depends on the nature of the loss and many personal factors.
"Moving forward means forgetting." - Continuing with life does not mean forgetting someone or something important. Many people find ways to maintain meaningful memories while adapting to life after loss.
"If I'm laughing, I must not be grieving." - Moments of joy, connection or laughter do not mean your grief has disappeared. It is common for positive experiences and sadness to exist alongside one another.
"Grief only follows death." - Grief can follow many kinds of loss, including relationship breakdown, illness, infertility and job loss, not only death.

How Common Is Grief in Australia?

According to Australian Bureau of Statistics data, more than 187,000 deaths were registered in Australia in 2024. Research on bereavement in Australian health settings estimates that each death significantly affects between four and nine other people - meaning well over half a million Australians are newly bereaved each year, before accounting for the many other forms of loss that can also cause grief.

Most people adapt to loss with time and the support of family, friends and community, though the process can take much longer than others expect. Grief remains a normal and expected part of life across every community and background, even though it is not always openly discussed.

When Might It Be Helpful to Seek Support?

Many people notice that grief gradually becomes easier to carry with time, particularly when they have supportive relationships and space to process what has happened.

You may wish to consider speaking with a qualified health professional if grief is:

continuing to feel persistently overwhelming
interfering with work, study or relationships
making it difficult to manage daily responsibilities over an extended period
leading to ongoing isolation
affecting your sleep, appetite or physical health significantly
occurring alongside other major life stressors
bringing up unresolved past experiences that feel difficult to manage alone

Support is not only for people grieving a recent loss. Some people seek help years after a loss as they begin to understand how it may still be affecting them today.

Grief counselling is not about helping someone "move on" or forget what has been lost. Counselling can help you understand your grief experience, explore difficult emotions safely, develop ways to cope with significant change, navigate changes in relationships or identity, and find meaning and connection as you adjust to life after loss.

If you'd like to learn more about counselling, explore our Grief and Loss Counselling service.

Need Immediate Support?

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, or there is an immediate risk of harm, call Triple Zero (000) immediately.
If you're experiencing emotional distress and would like to speak with someone now, confidential support is available:

Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14 (24 hours)
Griefline - 1300 845 745 (9am–8pm AEST/AEDT, 7 days)
Beyond Blue Support Service - 1300 22 4636
Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467

If your concerns are not urgent but you'd like professional support, speaking with your GP or another qualified healthcare professional can be a helpful first step.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If this page resonates with what you've been experiencing, we're here to help.

Book a free 15-minute consultation to discuss your needs, ask questions and decide whether counselling feels like the right next step for you.

Or learn more about our Grief and Loss Counselling service.

Trusted Resources

For further evidence-based information, we recommend the following organisations. We are not affiliated with these organisations.

healthdirect Australia - Grief and Loss
Grief Australia - https://www.grief.org.au/
Griefline - https://griefline.org.au/
National Centre for Childhood Grief - care for bereaved children and their families
The Compassionate Friends Australia - Support for Bereaved Parents

Frequently Asked Questions

Is grief only about death?

No. Grief can follow many significant life changes, including relationship breakdown, infertility, illness, job loss, retirement, relocation and losing a cherished pet.

Is it normal for grief to come and go?

Yes. Many people experience grief in waves. Anniversaries, birthdays, music, places or unexpected reminders can temporarily bring strong emotions back.

Why do I feel guilty after a loss?

Guilt is a common part of grief. People often replay conversations, decisions or events and wonder whether things could have been different. These thoughts do not necessarily reflect reality, but they can be part of processing a significant loss.

Can grief affect my physical health?

Yes. Grief can contribute to fatigue, sleep difficulties, changes in appetite, headaches, muscle tension and difficulty concentrating. If symptoms are severe, persistent or you're concerned about your health, it's important to speak with your GP.

What is prolonged grief disorder?

It refers to grief that remains intensely disruptive well beyond the timeframe typically expected, continuing to significantly affect daily life many months or years after a loss. It is a recognised clinical condition, though most people who grieve do not develop it. A qualified health professional can help assess whether this may apply to you.

Is there a right way to grieve?

No. People grieve in many different ways depending on their personality, culture, relationships, life experiences and the nature of the loss.

We're Here When You're Ready

Whether you're looking to better understand grief or considering counselling, we're here to help.
Book a free 15-minute consultation or learn more about our Grief and Loss Counselling service.

This page provides general educational information only and is not a substitute for personalised medical or mental health advice. If you have concerns about your mental health, speak with your GP or another qualified healthcare professional.